Halloween shmalloween

Dude, my heart is totally broken right now. nothing is going my way right now. im sitting home alone on a sat. with feed me and dead mouse right down the road playing my favorite music and i look on fb and kyna and sarahryan are going!! and i was hoping i could hang out with sarah while ryan was gone but i pussied out and didnt bring it up to her again. then her last day of work is tomorrow we were going to open together but she bribed someone 15 dollars to cover her last shift so i wont see her then eather.then shit is ok but then my favorite holiday is coming up HALLOWEEN!! and caity is having a party but of course its the same day as nicks wedding. i was really looking forward to going but once i heard caity was moving to cali 4 weeks after the party it made me think. wait nick and them arnt even my friends. they never chilled with me or had a real conversation with me. so now i have to go to this thing with ryans friends. and as many times as ryan tells me we going to get home early from the wedding and make it home for her party i dont see it happening. i thinkhes going to say that all the way up til we get there and then something will happen that we will stay in ct and not make it back.and the night before the wedding, the majician is playing in Danbury ct. i really want to go to that  but ryan said we ahve to make up our mind. and i want to do all 3. why cant we drive to the show get a hotel sleep in ct then go to the wedding then drive up here and go to the party?! and i know if we dont go to the majician were going to miss the party too and then im not going to be able to dress up for halloween except at work the day of and thats no fun. i might not even have work that day! or ill have to work at lone wolf. and idk if ppl are going to dress up and im not friends with any of them so its not going top be as fun dressing up with them.its just going to be a lame halloween this year. this sucks. ive been looking forward to this all year and now its ruined.